by Eldon DeBoer ( edeboer.gmm@gmail.com )
When Jesus taught the truth of the importance of forgiving others, He warned that if we do not do so we would remain in spiritual torment, having been turned over to torturers. In the conclusion of His illustration of a servant that had been forgiven much but refused to forgive a fellow-servant, He put it this way:
"My heavenly Father will also [turn you over to torturers]..., if each of you does not forgive his brother from your heart" (Matthew 18:34-35).
The sad commentary on many a believer's life is that he/she remains in spiritual torment because of refusing to forgive someone of a wrong done against her/him.
"My heavenly Father will also [turn you over to torturers]..., if each of you does not forgive his brother from your heart" (Matthew 18:34-35).
The sad commentary on many a believer's life is that he/she remains in spiritual torment because of refusing to forgive someone of a wrong done against her/him.
Before I address forgiving others, allow me to make sure we all understand the forgiveness God extends to each of us through Christ Jesus for all eternity and how His forgiveness is extended to us in time from day to day and moment to moment.
By God's Grace We Are Forgiven Forever and Forgiven Again. And Again!
We are forgiven forever when we first place our faith in Christ Jesus (Ephesians 1:7). Being forgiven forever is a part of our eternal standing in Christ. It is a part of being identified with Him in His death and resurrection (Romans 6:1-5). We are sealed in Christ when we believe in Him and this is a permanent seal accomplished by the Spirit of God that includes being forgiven in eternity (Ephesians 1:13-14).
There is another dimension of being forgiven that should be understood. It is God forgiving us again and again for sins we continue to commit that cause us to be in spiritual darkness in our experience with God here and now. While I am forgiven of all sins in Christ forever, in order to live in the light and have true fellowship with God from moment to moment I must confess my sins each and every time the Spirit makes me aware that I have missed a mark that He has set for me to live by.
“If we confess our sins He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9).
What a glorious truth and encouraging statement of God's grace for forgiveness. When we fail to live as we should and acknowledge it to God, He is "faithful and just to forgive us" through Christ Jesus (cp. 1 John 2:1-2). And He cleanses us "from all unrighteousness"! We should know we are right with Him when we confess our sin, even though we have failed Him again by sinning against Him. This is the grace of God at work! And how encouraging it is to know this.
This truth of God's grace for forgiveness is illustrated in the life of a prominent leader of old. God was looking for a leader, a king, who would be a man after His own heart (1 Samuel 13:22). In other words, God was looking for a man to lead His people who wanted to be like Himself more than anything else. You probably know who that man was. Yes, it was David; a shepherd boy who became king of Israel. Was David, the man after God's own heart, perfect? Far from it. He clearly understood how desperately he needed the grace of God in forgiveness. He emphasized this when he wrote Psalm 32 and Psalm 51 after he recovered from a sin that brought a great deal of pain into the lives of many people (2 Samuel 11 & 12). Yet, long after he had died, he was still remembered as someone whose heart was “devoted” to God (1 Kings 11:4; Acts 13:22). How encouraging it is to know that God forgives and that we can recover like David did and be useful to our Lord and Savior once again.
The truth that God forgives us again and again because of Jesus Christ's suffering in our place is a reality that should deeply grip our hearts when we pause to think about what it means. No matter how often we fall to a sinful weakness, be it a wrong thought or behavior, the Lord Jesus forgives us again. And again! And again!! Through confession we recover from being in spiritual darkness and re-enter the light and joy of fellowship with God.
“ . . . these things we write to you that your joy may be full. This is the message which we have heard from Him and declare to you, that God is light and in Him is no darkness at all. If we say that we have fellowship with Him, and walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth. But if we walk in the light as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus Christ His Son cleanses us from all sin” (1 John 1:4-7).
Like King David, the Apostle Paul wrote of His struggle with sin after being a believer in Christ for a number of years and how he hated it (Romans 7:15-24). He found himself thinking and doing what he knew what was wrong over and over. But when He came to himself by the ministry of the Spirit in His life, He exclaimed,
“Oh wretched man that I am! who will set me free from the body of this death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord (Romans 7:24-25).
Yes, Christ Jesus “sets us free” again and again from our spiritual deadness and uselessness to God when we sin as believers. It is thought that what Paul had in mind by the phrase “the body of this death” was the practice in his day of chaining a cadaver to a person who had been guilty of an offense that warranted the death penalty. Gangrene would set in and the guilty person would experience a horrible, drawn-out, painful death.
Who will release us from the horrible influence of our sins? From "the body of this death?" Who will deliver us from our spiritual deadness and uselessness to God while we are living in the dark because of sin? Christ Jesus sets us free from this dead condition the again and again. He forgives us every time we admit that we have sinned against Him. And because of our appreciation for His suffering in our place to provide for this forgiveness, because of His love and grace, we should cry out to Him for His help to stop succumbing to the sin. But in our frailty when we fall to that weakness again, that sin that plagues us, He forgives us again. And we then can enjoy fellowship with Him once more and live in His light and the light of His Word, the light of His teachings from the Bible.
Because of the work of Christ Jesus, God forgives us forever and He forgives us again and again when we confess our sin, when we simply admit to Him that we have done wrong. That's grace!!! And just as God forgives us again and again, He calls us to forgive others.
What does it mean to forgive someone?
When we forgive someone we put away the person’s sin against us. The word translated forgive (aphiemi) means to put away. When we forgive, as far as we are concerned, the person is no longer guilty of his sin against us. This is what Jesus did when He was being crucified (Luke 23:34). He put away their sin of crucifying Him and therefore they would not receive immediate judgment from God for that sin.
After Jesus had raised Lazarus from the dead, He told them, “Loose him and let him go” (John 11:44, NKJV). “Let . . . go” is the translation of aphiemi. This provides a fitting analogy that addresses attention to what we do for people when we forgive them. When we forgive someone we no longer keep the person in bondage to the guilt of their sin. As far as we are concerned the person is not guilty. We let him go and he thereby is set free from his guilt against us. This does not mean that an individual should never be held accountable for his sin against us. At times justice must be applied. (This will be addressed at another time.)
Jesus taught us to forgive. Again and again!
The Lord Jesus addressed the importance of forgiving again and again in Matthew 18:21-35. He concluded his teaching by emphasizing that those who choose not to forgive will remain in spiritual torment until they do forgive (18:34-35). Strong words but so very true. The passage begins with the familiar question for Jesus from Peter.
"Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Up to seven times?''
Jesus said to him, "I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.”
Peter probably thought he was being very generous when he asked this question about forgiveness. Certainly forgiving “up to seven times” goes beyond what God requires of us. Louis Barbieri, Jr., notes that “the traditional Rabbinic teaching was that an offended person needed to forgive a brother only three times” (The Bible Knowledge Commentary, 62). In what follows in Matthew 18, Peter’s lack of understanding becomes obvious in the story that Jesus told about the king and his two servants. Apparently Peter did not realize the application of God’s forgiveness to forgiving others. It seems that he did not have much appreciation for the truth that the Lord had forgiven him a huge debt of sin. He did not apply the foundational truth that we all need to understand in order to forgive from the heart.
When Jesus told Peter that we should keep on forgiving up to 490 times, he was not saying that we should keep a ledger of the sins against us. The expression, “up to seventy times seven,” emphasizes that we should keep on forgiving and not keep track of the number of times someone sins against us.
Peter’s lack of understanding concerning God’s standards for forgiving one another is not unusual among believers. Many believers do not understand the application of this truth. But what is it that believers need to grasp in order to forgive from the heart? The parable Jesus told provides the answer.
Heart-felt Forgiveness Flows from Being Forgiven a Huge Debt
In this parable the king of the servant who has incurred a huge debt is God the Father Himself. There are a number of views concerning what a talent would be worth in today’s currency, but according to one source the amount equaled about 15 years wages. If you earned an average of $30,000 a year multiplied times 15, times 10,000, your debt would be $4,500,000,000. The main point of the Lord’s illustration is that since God has forgiven us so very much, we are to forgive others from our hearts. If you appreciate the huge debt of sin that God has forgiven you, you will keep on forgiving others who sin against you. This is precisely what the servant did not do. His lack of appreciation for how much his lord had forgiven him was expressed in his refusal to forgive a fellow servant of a far lesser debt of sin. Consequently, he was handed over to the torturers (cp. Hebrews 12:4-15).
Our sins are ultimately against our holy heavenly Father.
The two servants in the story Jesus told are both representative of believers in Christ Jesus. The wicked servant who refused to forgive had incurred a debt beyond his ability to repay. When we sin against our holy God, we should understand that we are unable to pay back the debt we owe due to our sins. We do not have the ability to repay our Lord for sins committed against Him. Our sins are too great. All the Father asks is that we go to him and admit our need of His forgiveness. God always treats us in grace and forgives us because our debt has been paid through the suffering and death of Christ Jesus. The wicked servant had been forgiven by his lord. But when he refused to forgive a fellow servant, he was turned over to the torturers because of his sin of refusing to forgive. We should keep in mind that ultimately our sins are sins against our holy God and only His forgiveness removes the sin and the guilt. David understood this and expressed his indebtedness to God. After he had confessed his sin of adultery against Uriah and Bathsheba, he said to the Lord,
Against You, You only, have I sinned, And done this evil in Your sight
That You may be found just when You speak, And blameless when You judge. (Psalm 51:4)
David was well aware that he was worthy of death. And he knew that God could take His Spirit from him (Psalm 51:11). (While this cannot happen to a believer today in the Church Age, it could happen to believers in the Old Testament. Believers today fully receive the Spirit when they believe in Jesus and He continues to indwell them no matter how sinful they might become.) When we sin against the Lord God we should understand that all sins, whether seemingly significant or insignificant to us, are offenses against our holy heavenly Father and are huge in His sight.
Yet some sins cause more damage than others. It could be that the wicked servant is an illustration of a believer who has received forgiveness for a sin that has caused a great deal of damage to others. Whatever the case, the teaching is clear. Believers should maintain forgiving hearts because the holy God has forgiven them a huge debt of sin.
Sins and offenses against you
When someone does something that hurts you, there are times when the person who has offended you may not even be aware of the hurt that has been caused. Then, to the other extreme, there are sins that obviously are motivated by maliciousness. There are offenses that are perceived to be damaging which may not even be sinful at all. Sometimes we can be too sensitive about what others do to us. Whatever the case, when we feel that someone has hurt us, God calls us to forgive them. When we have disagreements with others or complaints against others for whatever reason, the Lord says,
Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering; bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do. (Colossians 3:12-13)
The Lord calls us to forgive as He has forgiven us in Christ.
Since God has forgiven us a huge debt of sin we are to forgive others. This is an important part of the Spirit of the Lord’s concern as He moved the Apostle Paul to write Ephesians. Having proclaimed the truth of the everlasting spiritual blessing of our forgiveness in Christ (Ephesians 1:7), Paul emphasizes the importance of forgiving one another:
And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God in Christ also forgave you. (Ephesians 4:32)
Forgiving one another is what accompanies being kind and tenderhearted. If believers prominently keep in mind the forgiveness that was bought and paid for by Jesus (Ephesians 5:1-2), they should keep on maintaining a forgiving heart. Notice that Paul points to God’s forgiveness as the basis for our forgiveness. The word translated forgive in this passage emphasizes grace in forgiveness (charizomai). We communicate kindness and tenderheartedness as we keep on forgiving others.
Our emotional vulnerability when angry
The fact that we should guard against not letting go of justified anger or righteous wrath before we go to bed is clear from what we are told in Ephesians 4:26-27:
"'Be angry (orgizo) and do not sin': do not let the sun go down on your wrath(parorgismos) nor give place to the devil" (note the root word orge found in parorgismos).
We should never go to sleep filled with anger, even though our anger may be justified because of the hurt and injury that someone caused. May we look to the Lord for the grace to put our righteous wrath to rest against those who have sinned against us or, possibly, others as well. This warning is accompanied by the real danger that even righteous wrath might turn to bitterness and sinful anger and that this may be used by the devil and his cohorts to bring us into spiritual bondage.
We understand from personal experience that often our emotions cause us to lose the ability to think clearly. When sinful emotions take over we are “in the dark” spiritually. God tells us we should be alert to this and we must draw upon His grace to overcome these harmful emotions.
Put away the emotions that torture you because you refuse to forgive.
Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. Ephesians 4:31
At times, when we are reminded of the hurt that someone caused, bitterness and sinful anger apparently may overcome us. These emotions are often the torture that comes to us when we refuse to forgive. They are a huge part of the torture designed by God to get our attention. What are we to do about these sinful emotions? We are told to put them away or put them off (cf. Colossians 3:8). In Ephesians 4:31 “put away” translates airo which is also used in another place to explain how Christ Jesus came to taken away our sins (1 John 3:5).
When we do not put away someone’s sin against us by forgiving them, the Spirit of God is grieved (Ephesians 4:30). The fact that we are commanded to “put away” these sinful emotions tells us that by God’s grace, by the ministry of the Spirit through the new man, we can do something about them. We need not be enslaved to them. With God’s enabling grace, we can put a stop to these evil feelings.
Bitterness (pikria, Acts 8:23; Romans 3:14: Hebrews 12:15)) is the emotion that results when we dwell on how someone has hurt us and begin to think about revenge. We become self-centered and filled with self-pity. We can only think about ourselves or how we might vindicate ourselves. Wrath (thumos, Luke 4:28; Acts 19:28) and anger (orge, 1 Timothy 2:8; James 1:19-20) are expressed as we “clamor” for attention and speak evil of the offender. We begin to plan malicious acts against our offenders.
This was not true of Stephen (Acts 7). Stephen demonstrated the grace of God as he was being stoned to death. His final words were words of forgiveness and love for those who took his life. It seems that this left a marked impression on a young man named Saul. Saul came to faith in Jesus as his Messiah and Savior a short time later and became the Apostle Paul who wrote the letter to the Ephesians. Paul knew about forgiveness and deeply appreciated the forgiveness of God. He had experienced the grace of God’s forgiveness. As the “chief of sinners” who had persecuted believers in Christ, Paul became well aware of his need for God’s forgiveness (1 Timothy 1:15-16).
How do we put away the sinful emotions that torture us?
God commands us to put away the sinful emotions that torture us. By the grace of God through the ministry of the Spirit working through the new man we can put away our sinful emotions. When the Holy Spirit convicts you about your sinful emotions confess them as sin. Then prayerfully consider the question, “Have I committed some sin that caused these sinful emotions?” Oftentimes it is the sin of refusing to forgive that has caused these emotions to surface. When the Spirit brings to your attention that refusing to forgive is the sin that is at the root of these emotional responses, then that sin must be confessed as well. Receive the forgiveness granted to you by God through Christ by admitting you have sinned (1 John 1:7, 9). Then remind yourself of the huge debt of sin that God has forgiven you in Christ. Ponder the wonder of His love and grace that He has expressed to you.
Putting these sinful emotions away is not easy (duh!). We may find that it is very difficult to completely let go of the offense against us. We forgive and let go and then we pick it up again in our thoughts. We find ourselves hanging on to it and we rework it in our minds over and over again. Very soon afterwards we are filled with bitterness and sinful anger. Hopefully we do not descend to the point of clamoring for attention by talking about it with others. May we stop short of seeking revenge. May we not carry out injurious plans for personal vindication (cf. Romans 12:14-21).
Thankfully, when we confess these sins and receive cleansing from God once again, we return to the high road of forgiveness in God’s plan for us. Our thoughts should then turn to Jesus and we should once again ponder the great debt of sin that we have been forgiven because of Jesus’ sacrifice in our place. Do we deserve to be forgiven? No. Does the person who has sinned against us deserve to be forgiven. No. Yet, God’s plan for our lives is that we forgive as He forgave. When we do forgive because we have been forgiven in Christ and maintain forgiveness from the heart, God will free us from the emotional torture of bitterness and anger. When we apply God’s Word by His Spirit, He gives us peace.
And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to which also you were called in one body; and be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom, teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord. Colossians 3:15-16
Forgive and illustrate the grace of God.
We illustrate the grace and love of God when we forgive others. This is crucially important in the ministry of a church. By forgiving one another and putting up with each other, believers may powerfully communicate the love and grace of God shown them in Christ Jesus.
The chapter break is unfortunate at the close of Ephesians 4 because the following verses emphasize the importance of being like God in forgiveness and in the demonstration of love by Jesus Christ’s death.
Therefore be followers of God as dear children. And walk in love, as Christ also has loved us and given Himself for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweet-smelling aroma.
(Ephesians 5:1-2
When we maintain hearts of forgiveness we demonstrate to others that we truly are followers of God. When we keep on forgiving we shine forth the light of the truth of Christ and are behaving in a way that is consistent with whom we are in Christ. We have received total and complete everlasting forgiveness in Christ. We are light in the Lord (Ephesians 5:8). When we keep on forgiving we are walking as children of light. We are behaving wisely by the power of the Spirit of God (5:15-21).
By the grace of God through the ministry of the Spirit through the new man created in the image of Christ (Colossians 3:10), we may overcome the emotional torment caused by refusing to forgive. We may express the love and grace to others that God has given us in Christ Jesus.
Jesus warned those who do not forgive from the heart that they would be turned over to the torturers (Matthew 18:35). The heavenly Father will bring severe discipline upon those who refuse to forgive (Hebrews 12:3-15). Often this discipline from the Father includes emotional torture.
Forgiving someone is not a one time, now it's settled forever experience. Many of us have felt that churning sensation within again and again as we re-live in our heads the hurt and pain we went through at the hands or words of someone. So we need to look to our Savior for His grace to forgive again.
May we forgive from the heart because we appreciate that we have been forgiven a huge debt of sin by our holy God and thereby be free of the emotional torture that results from refusing to forgive.
A summary of God’s provisions for maintaining a heart of forgiveness:
1. Remember that in and through Jesus Christ, God has forgiven you a huge debt of sin. Keep in mind that no one can offend you or sin against you to the degree that you have sinned against God (Matthew 18:27).
2. Ponder and dwell on the wondrous love and forgiveness God has granted to you through Christ Jesus (Ephesians 1:7; 1 John 1:9-2:2).
Think about the awful cost of your deliverance by the Son of God Himself. Keep your eyes on Jesus (Ephesians 4:29-5:2; Colossians 3:1-16; 1 Peter 1:17-21; Hebrews 12:1-3).
3. Recognize that you cannot maintain a heart of forgiveness and forgive again for the right reasons in your own strength (John 15:5).
4. Keep in mind the Lord’s command to not take your righteous wrath to bed (Ephesians 4:25-27).
5. Be on the alert for signs of sinful anger and bitterness (Matthew 18:35). Remain sensitive to the convicting work of the Spirit from the Word of God (Hebrews 4:12; Ephesians 4:30-31; Colossians 3:8-10; Hebrews 12:15).
6. Confess to the Lord the sin of an unforgiving spirit when the Holy Spirit causes you to realize that this is the reason for the emotional torture of bitterness and anger (1 John 1:9; cp. Matthew 6:14-15; Psalm 32:1-6).
7. Cry out to God for the grace to keep on maintaining a heart of forgiveness to forgive again and again so that your life will be a testimony to His love and grace (John 13:35; 2 Peter 3:18; 2 Corinthians 12:9-10).
Jesus taught that refusing to forgive is itself a sin and breaks fellowship with God (Matthew 6:14-15). When a believer refuses to forgive, God will not forgive him until it is confessed as sin (1 John 1:9; Psalm 32:1-5). This is forgiveness for fellowship with God in this life. Every believer remains forgiven in Christ forever whether he or she forgives or not (Ephesians 1:7). The importance of forgiving others and the sin of refusing to forgive in Matthew 6 and 18 has to do with continuing in fellowship in a meaningful relationship with Jesus here and now in this life.
Your questions and comments are appreciated ( edeboer.gmm@gmail.com ).